Things not to do on a Friday night

Looking for something to do on a Friday night? Here's what I would advise against:

- check your sleeping preschooler's temperature at 5:20 pm. Realize it's 40.1C (or 104 F) and call telehealth.
- while waiting for the nurse from telehealth to call you back google high temperatures.
- spend 20 minutes on the phone with telehealth only to be told when she hears your daughter's cough through the phone that you need to get her to a clinic. Luckily the telehealth nurse is really nice.
- throw together a few things for a long wait at the clinic and get the kids in the car.
- get to the clinic and listen to the nurse tell you the wait is on average 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Worry that contents of bag will not suffice.
- spend the better part of two hours on a vinyl chair with a 40lb preschooler who is burning up with fever draped over you.
- stand and be glad that you are wearing dark coloured cotton because you are soaking wet.
- have both your children check by the very very nice doctor, who proclaims that Julia has mild strep and is bordering on pneumonia and that Stuart (you know, the one you thought was better) has strep as well.
- Feel like a completely incompetent mother for having such sick children. Feel free to insert this step at any point in the evening, preferably repeatedly.
- take the kids and their prescriptions to Wal-Mart (something you have never done before and will never do again) because you figure that you can treat them to cruising the toy aisles in the cart while you wait for their prescriptions, which is better than pulling them off the aisles at the pharmacy.
- try not to cry when you see the millions of people in Wal-Mart the night before Good Friday (because the store is actually closing for a day - what ever will they do??)
- hand in the prescription and be impressed when she tells you to come back for it in 35 minutes. (You will regret this)
- cruise the aisles, pick up some milk and some impulse storage (if that is one of your weaknesses, otherwise feel free to substitute with something more appropriate.)
- head back to the pharmacy counter to have the woman laugh out loud when you ask for your prescription.
- cruise some more and be horribly horribly aware that the people who are in your Wal-Mart at this time of day are not people you would want to meet anywhere else and realize that you may be a snob.
- realize that you are now sweating profusely and that taking off your clothes in Wal-Mart is not an option.
- finally get your prescription 1 hour and 20 minutes after you drop it off.
- try not to scream when they tell you that you now need to wait for "counselling" from the pharmacist (how hard is 2 tsp a day????) despite the fact that it is now after 9pm and you have a screaming, sick 3 year old in your cart.
- make a valiant effort not to club the pharmacist when he knows nothing about the medication, and is muttering so bad that you are trying to coax out of him if the medication is to be taken BEFORE or AFTER a meal and he keeps muttering something that could be with or without (I am usually very open minded about people of different ethnic origin than I am. But tonight his manner and the fact that his English was not good was nearly a breaking point).
- tell children you will not be waiting in line to buy the things in your cart because it's a zoo.
- concede to stand in line for the Fairy Book and Marvel Comics you have agreed to buy.
- jam your hand in the cart while putting in storage thingy, and completely bend ring from Greece into your finger.
- get kids back in car, head home.
- try not to say "Oh S___! It's garbage night!!" at the top of your lungs when heading down your street and doing the slalom between the garbage bags (since we still have a barely passable street)
- bribe children with special treats to fill their tummies so you can force horrid medicine down their throats.
- DON'T think "well at least no one has thrown up"
- clean up vomit that showed up about 2 minutes after the above thought that you should never have had.
- get medicine in them
- put them in the bath
- type a blog when you should be attending their every need (you are however perched on the toilet typing).
- hope that today will soon be over.

and last but not least - Realize that it's not even Friday. You can't even get the title of your post right.