Thursday, October 25, 2007

can't see the forest for the trees

Sometimes I need a good kick inthe pants. Seriously - there are times that I am concerned by the huge resemblance between me and an ostrich with it's head stuck in the sand.

I had the pleasure yesterday of a call from a friend in Luxembourg - a Canadian who wanted to know how it was to be home, and see how we were doing (those who do not read this blog may think we've fallen off the face of the earth, but you can only lead a horse to water...)

Anyhow, the conversation started off with me being a bit down on being back - there are parts I love, and parts I don't.

"But how are you feeling?" was one of the first questions when I expressed that we're feeling a little up and down. "How's your health?"

Um. Good point. It's MUCH better (so far, touch wood).

"And how's Julia? Is she still coughing all night? Is she able to get a little more sleep?"

Um. NO, she's not coughing. She is sleeping (for the most part - now we seem to have some - ahem, digestive trouble - oh whatever, she has gas, got to get her off the cheese!).

"You must be so relieved."

Wow. As little as 5 months ago I would have given my eye teeth to not listen to Julia hacking her poor little lungs up all night, every night. No cough syrup (and we tried soooooo many) helped much.

And, while I had to concede defeat to one sinus infection, I am much better. MUCH better (where's that wood again...) I seem to have broken the non-stop cycle of antibiotics. I can sleep most night without gasping for air. This is a definite improvement.

I think back to the night in early May when we started to seriously talk about coming home. I was up at 3 am and running a bath because I couldn't breathe, gasping for air with a pounding headache- hoping the steam would help. Marc came in and sat with me - and whatever I said scared him to death, I was so tired of being so sick all the time, so tired of having a sick little girl. I would have given my eye teeth to be as healthy (note I am not saying well rested!) as I am today. I still have some way to go (and a lot of exercise to fit into my schedule) but it's so much better than where we were.

So I am going to try and put aside worrying about where we are headed and when my house will be finished, when my dad's estate will finally settle, when will Stu fit in at school (okay, i don't promise on that one) and just enjoy this beautiful sunny crisp fall day. Because I am well enough to take my daughter to the park, and Stu to soccer and this time last year I would never have know what was in store for us and this bad year has to have served some purpose.

1 comment:

Lisa Milton said...

So glad you are feeling better, breathing better. There's days when perspective is hard to come by; sounds like you've found your way.