No, not my usual "Oh, I'm so fat!" when I've put on 5 pounds. Really fat. Like add up my two pregnancies, add them to my usual weight and tah-dah! You have me. Now. Nary a baby in sight.
I have gained 35 pounds in the last year. 35 pounds. 35. On someone who is 5'6" that's a lot of weight. Even when you continue to weigh yourself in kilograms and pretend it's not so bad.
This time last year I started taking Zoloft. To help keep the psycho woman at bay during hormonal times of the month. And stuff. I guess I didn't realize then that there was other stuff too (the anxiety... oh the anxiety. What do you mean it's not supposed to feel like there's a tiny bird trying to escape from your chest on a regular basis? Really?)
I knew there would be some weight gain. This much weight gain? Um, yeah, no. The doctor made noises about me taking the pills for a year and then coming off, and I figured that the weight would *poof* vanish.
But in December she suggested me staying on another year - I haven't been as stable as she would like (##^$%%@#*$^ contractor after the move, isn't it nice to have someone to blame for at least part of things??) and she likes to bring people off in the winter, very very very VERY slowly so that by April they are off and feeling normal when the sun comes back to these parts of the world. She doesn't think I am there yet.
Now, seeing I didn't want to be in Christmas photos this year (due to my girth) and that I actually have photos of myself clutching a pillow in front of my gut (I know! As if that hides it! No! It just makes people think "she must have gained a ton of weight!") I decided that it was time to do something about my ever-growing weight. Besides changing meds, because you know what? The whole starting new meds thing sucks in my opinion.
Last night I signed up for Weight Watchers Online. This morning I was breezing through the grocery store thinking "this isn't so bad!"
It is now 4:13 pm and you know what? I AM HUNGRY. Not to mention CRANKY.
And I forgot that I have the school council meeting tonight and have eaten my weight (or near enough) in baby carrots and red pepper. They may have to ask me to leave (sorry, gross I know, but it made my husband laugh). Which would have me starting a list of Top 10 things to get you kicked out of a school council meeting.